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My life in sex: the woman who lost her virginity twice

I had gender reassignment surgery in the late 2000s, and while I had been sexually active prior to this, I had always imagined what it would be like to have sex as a woman for the first time. I had pictured a whirlwind romance or a hotel room, or maybe even a seedy club. What actually happened was altogether more intriguing.

At the time I was a keen photographer, and was also beginning to explore the kink scene. These interests intersected when a couple asked if I wanted to photograph their new dungeon equipment for them. At this point no sexual high jinks were on my mind, just a two-hour train journey across a sodden Lancashire and a warm cup of tea at the end. But when I arrived, the man and woman were charming and interesting, and ended up asking if I’d be keen to try the equipment.

Things progressed and I lost my second virginity in the course of two hours of blissful hedonism. How did it compare with losing my “first” virginity? It was certainly more memorable. As a man, I found sex to be very urgent, almost like scratching an itch. Having sex as a woman felt more all-encompassing. Not really knowing my sexual self in my reconfigured body should have set me on edge, but the couple were kind, patient and very good at what they did. More than a decade later, I still look back on the memory with fondness.

 Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email All submissions are published anonymously, and subject to our terms and conditions.

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