I recall a very long evening trapped inside Aqua waiting for Alicia Keys to honk through ‘Empire State of Mind’, which she certainly did — but not before hundreds of us were chivvied off on a tour of the building, up stairs, down stairs, through tunnels and in and out of various bars and banquet areas. During this period of captivity, I transgressed through many emotional stages: gratitude, joy, listlessness, disorientation; then, finally, a quiet acceptance that I might never see Leyton again.
Nowadays, this colossal ark of a venue is split into various sections — cocktail bar, Japanese and tapas — and has recently been titivated, primped and relaunched. Décor-wise, Aqua Spirit, the bar area, is prettily opulent. It’s the sort of place out-of-towners might breathlessly call ‘swanky’ on TripAdvisor after drinking a lychee martini prior to viewing Memphis the Musical starring Matt Cardle. The main clientele when I visited were inebriated office-worker lad packs who ‘banter’ at you semi-offensively in the lifts and flurries of intense twenty-something Essex husband-hunters in Lipsy frocks, sitting behind champagne buckets scowling at their phones.
The bar staff have adjusted to their audience with entrenched blasé-ness. I ordered a glass of Picpoul de Pinet, which arrived warm, was sent back politely, then replaced nonsensically by two glasses of the same warm wine. At this point, I gave up and decided to let the evening’s events envelope me.
Aqua Nueva, the tapas area — replete with dark leather horseshoe-shaped banquettes — is also rather beautiful. Or at least it is according to photographs, because it is so dark inside I regretted not wearing my orienteering headtorch to assist with the menu. It’s the perfect place to take a Tinder date if you look very little like your profile photo and worry that a more strongly lit venue would reveal that, yes, you do own your own hair, but at one point it belonged to a person in Peru.
‘I hope you are enjoying this wonderful table!’ enthused the manager, regardless of the fact that we were sitting almost in pitch dark at a table with legs so wonky we were gripping on to steady it like séance-goers mid-poltergeist visitation.
The concept is tapas with a twist, or very fancily hewn tapas delivered to one’s table with plentiful explanation and accentuated flourish. We ordered braised lamb loin with apricot — it tasted exactly as it sounds — then matured rib-eye with pickled green paprika, plus a serving of grilled Iberian pork with aïoli potatoes. Portions are abstemious, delicately presented and not overwhelmingly delicious.
The confit beetroot with deep-fried Monte Enebro cheese and liquorice was ultra wafer-thin slices of beet topped with crouton-like fromage clusters. A soft (ie: translucent) poached egg appeared on a thin bed of crunchy chorizo, pancetta and potato fragments. Poked twice, it turned into a tepid eggy gloop.
I am led to wonder if there is any real necessity for OTT tapas, having flown off a few days later to Palma’s Old Town in Mallorca where a bowl of humble jamón croquettes, some garlic-laden gambas and generous amounts of Pedro Ximénez hit the spot beautifully. Still, Aqua was packed with the sort of young people who think eating is cheating. On a Friday night in June, it is their West End — and they’re bloody welcome to it.
Aqua Nueva
1 lamb loin £12.50
1 rib-eye £12
1 Iberian pork £9.50
1 confit beetroot £7
1 asparagus £7.50
1 soft-cooked egg £6
1 cheese selection £10
1 arroz leche £6.50
Drinks £59
TOTAL £130
30 Argyll Street, W1 (020 7478 0540; aquanueva.co.uk)
Source:https://www.standard.co.uk
